more sites.

dreams.

we all have dreams in our heads, words in our mouths, stories on our skin and ghosts in our hearts. we are little haunted houses. dreaming, dreaming, dreaming...

the last song

"Sometimes you have to be apart from people you love, but that doesn't mean you love them any less. Sometimes it makes you love them even more."

Donnerstag, 7. Juni 2012

getting ready to leave. sadly.

I'm leaving in 4 days and I am not ready. I made awesome friends over here, I met the greatest people, and I learned to live my life how I want to, and not how people expect me to. I grew up so fast and I changed... My whole entire life change.

My past year was so hard. I had so many up and downs, I lost so many people I called my friends for years. I realized who my true friends are, who got my back no matter what. I realized that some people who I called my best friends for years aren't going to be there when I actually need them. And I realized that sometimes you need to turn away from those who are not going to be there for you like you are for them.

I am me. I am not how anybody wants me to be. My exchange year changed me, changed my way of thinking, my way of living. It gave me a lot of selfconfidence I needed, I believe in myself way more than I ever did. I learned to speak up for myself, to change things that bother me on my own.

A lot happenend to me, good things and bad things. Sadly, this winter, there were more bad ones than good ones. I got hurt, I broke down, I got let down. A lot. I had to change my family in the middle of the year because of stupidity and lies. I was about to leave, but I got back up. I got stronger. I showed everybody who didn't believe in me that I can do it, that I can handle things on my own. Especially at that time I found my real best friends. Those who where there for me at any time, those I could call in the middle of the night. Those who let me cry without saying anything. I still owe you so much.
And when I got back to school after one week, I realized how fast this time is going to be over and I got even crazier than before. I took more risks. I loved and lived with my whole heart, I enjoyed every second, because you never know when something is going to change. Time run by way to fast at the end. I still didn't get to hang out with some people and I still didn't get to do everything we ever talked about. But I know, that my time wasn't wasted. Not at all. :) This year was probably the best year of my life until now and nobody can take this experience and those memories away from me. I'll remember it forever.

And I will miss every single one of my crazy Americans so much.

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